author Emilie Leeks,

"Lord but I am tired. I had planned a full hour of work this evening, once the kids were finally asleep. But instead I'm here at my desk, writing by the half light of the computer monitor, watching the words flow from my pen onto the page. I haven't written like this for a while. I've written some useful stuff, some pieces meatier than others, but the flow hasn't been there - something has been keeping me back."

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author Emilie Leeks,

"To hear parents speak openly of their struggles, to hold space as they express the hardships in their lives is a great honour. There is so much pain. So much pain being carried around by each and every one of us - whether we know it or not, whether we can or choose to express it or not. We all have troubling and challenging incidents from our past - childhood hurts, deaths of loved ones, hospital traumas… But it's not always big stuff. It can be just not wanting to repeat habits of a lifetime - of not wanting to stay in the rut of generations of hurt."

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author Emilie Leeks,

Sweet one,You never made it Into our arms. You never knew The joy your brothers and sisters Would bring to you. You never nestled Into your father's warm chest; You never found your strength At my breast. A spark of life, A...

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author Emilie Leeks,

deserve to be here in this world, and that we have a right to be loved and cared for by others. In short, we love ourselves. But gradually we lose this sense of our 'right' to be here, of our self love, and when we talk to ourselves it is with a negative inner voice, that points out to us all that we are doing wrong, all that we are that is not good enough. So our listener brings us back to that inner voice, becomes that inner voice - that voice that quietly whispers through their mere presence that we are worth it, that we are good, that we are enough just as we are.

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author Emilie Leeks,

I didn't understand that everything I felt around that time was ok. I held to the prevailing beliefs of stiff upper lip, nobody died, what's all the fuss about. We didn't know that everything we were feeling was not only normal, but acceptable. That it was ok to feel like we weren't coping. Now I know so much better, and if there's one thing I hope someone might take from this story, it is that whatever birth you have, whatever the outcome, you deserve to be allowed to feel whatever it is that you need to.

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